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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27448330">soft hearts, though i’ve forgotten</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/calculus/pseuds/calculus'>calculus</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SEVENTEEN (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, Coming Out, Developing Relationship, F/F, Gen, Remix, Rule 63, Sexuality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 03:07:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27448330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/calculus/pseuds/calculus</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Soonyoung’s first orgasm is at fifteen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jeon Wonwoo &amp; Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>SAGC Ficmix 2020 🥰</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>soft hearts, though i’ve forgotten</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sysupportgroup/gifts">sysupportgroup</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23089114">flying and falling till four in the morning</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/sysupportgroup/pseuds/sysupportgroup">sysupportgroup</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>lol i tried i’m sry legume</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Soonyoung’s first orgasm is at fifteen when she uses her mom’s portable massager and accidentally discovers what repeatedly heavy vibrations against her crotch does. It’s not like she was aiming for anything, she swears: she came home with sore legs after dance practice and her mom had offhandedly told her to use the massager to work out the muscles. Of course, she just had super clumsy hands, and the massager was slippery when turned on, and it just... y’know.</p><p>She immediately tells Wonhee minutes later, frantically spam texting, and all Wonhee has to say is, “Congratulations, you’re an adult now.” The actual nerve.</p><p>(Her second orgasm, she’d love to say comes years later, but unfortunately, once she knew what her vagina could do, Soonyoung really <i>went</i> for it. Of course, living with her family meant she had to pursue her orgasms as circumspectly as possible, but it really just meant she got better at shoving her pillowcases in her mouth at night and using the bathroom shower head at the optimal times.</p><p>Of course, Heejin gets annoyed with her since she ends up wasting almost all the hot water; Soonyoung’s really not the most subtle of people. She gives Soonyoung a nice bullet vibe for her sixteenth birthday and makes her promise to let Heejin take her showers first, which is a small price to pay once Soonyoung uses the bullet for the first time.</p><p>Their parents should just be glad they didn’t have two boys instead.)</p><p>Soonyoung gets a boyfriend in her third year of high school. They go on extraordinarily mediocre dates at PC bangs and Hollys Coffee, but it’s blood-rushing and new to Soonyoung, whose furthest interaction with a boy outside her family was getting her skirt flipped by her shitty classmates. (Wonhee got revenge for her immediately after by pulling down all of the boys’ pants in their classroom the following week. Jeon Wonhee was terrifying in high school.)  They don’t last more than a few months, which she whines about to Wonhee for the next two weeks, but Soonyoung does get a passable makeout session from him. Wonhee is extremely unimpressed when she reports back, but she at least takes Soonyoung out for bingsu after they break up.</p><p>She sticks to her hands and a growing number of vibrators during her final year. Wonhee has to bear the brunt of her complaints about having a disappointing sex life during their cram school hours, but Soonyoung maintains this is all in the name of solidarity. Her favorite retort is, “It’s not like you’re getting any yourself, Wonhee-yah!” to which Wonhee can only roll her eyes before changing the subject.</p><p>Freshman year in university, Soonyoung discovers camgirls and her subsequent bisexual awakening. She spends almost two months’ worth of allowance money on her favorite camgirls, and also her first midterm in hormonal agony because she couldn’t stop masturbating to videos of girls being eaten out and fucking themselves with massive dildos and ends up with severe chafing and her first UTI. Soonyoung still can’t look her mom in the eye sometimes when she remembers having to ask her about seeing a gynecologist.</p><p>Wonhee is nice enough to accompany her to see the gynecologist, and even goes with her to the pharmacy for her antibiotics, but Soonyoung can tell she’s judging. Wonhee’s facial expressions aren’t easy to pick apart, but Soonyoung’s known her since preschool. She knows when she’s being judged.</p><p>(There are no secrets between her and Wonhee. Soonyoung tried keeping a secret once from Wonhee when they were in primary school, an innocent one about a surprise birthday party, and Wonhee had just stared at her until she broke and gave up the goose. In middle school, Wonhee was made class representative, and the other girls tried to bully her by ostracizing her from the rest of the class, and Soonyoung immediately blabbed to Wonhee about it even though the girls had threatened to cut her out too. They spent the rest of the year talking to each other only, but Soonyoung has no regrets. </p><p>She immediately comes out to Wonhee after her UTI debacle. She’s only the smallest bit terrified that Wonhee will reject her, but it’s still tense and uncomfortable when Soonyoung sits Wonhee down at the Tom n Toms close by Wonhee’s dorm building to talk. Wonhee doesn’t seem ruffled, content to just wait across the table while Soonyoung starts and stops her words a few times.</p><p>“Wonhee-yah, there’s something I need to, uh, you need to know,” Soonyoung hedges, playing with the cafe pager instead of looking at Wonhee’s placid expression. “I have something I want to tell you, and, uh.”</p><p>Wonhee doesn’t reply, which only racks up Soonyoung’s anxiety. She grips the pager tightly now, nerves on high, but it loosens immediately as Wonhee’s soft hands lay over hers. She looks up, stricken, and Wonhee is just smiling faintly at her.</p><p>“Whatever it is, you don’t have to be scared, you know,” Wonhee says. Soonyoung swallows thickly and nods weakly. Wonhee takes hold of her hands firmly now, curling their fingers together, and Soonyoung tightens them without thinking. “You can tell me anything.”</p><p>Soonyoung exhales loudly. “Okay. You promise you won’t get upset at me?”</p><p>“Did you spend your Chuseok money on SHINee’s fan meeting drawing again?” Wonhee jokes, eyes creasing. Soonyoung pouts and kicks her lightly. “If there’s a body you want me to help you hide, you’re going to need to pay me extra.”</p><p>“Jihoonie says you’re more likely to kill a man than me, you know,” Soonyoung says, distracted, and Wonhee smirks, unbothered. “But that’s not what I’m trying to say. Okay. Okay.”</p><p>“Okay,” Wonhee echoes, squeezing her hands lightly.</p><p>“Wonhee-yah, I—I like girls!” She says it all in one go, and ducks her head down, squeezing her eyes shut as if it would block out Wonhee’s immediate response.</p><p>“Oh.” Soonyoung holds her breath. “Oh, Soonyoung-ah.”</p><p>“Please don’t hate me,” Soonyoung blurts out. Wonhee’s grip tightens in surprise before relaxing.</p><p>“Yah, Kwon Soonyoung, you big dumbo,” Wonhee says, nudging her until Soonyoung reluctantly looks back up, “why would you think I’d hate you?”</p><p>“You can’t call me dumb when you’re trying to comfort me,” Soonyoung whines. Wonhee rolls her eyes and reaches a hand up to wipe at Soonyoung’s face. She blinks, surprised, and it takes her a second to recognize the wet sting in her eyes. “Oh.”</p><p>“I’ll call you dumb as long as you keep being dumb,” Wonhee retorts, but it’s gentle. She sighs, grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table, and dabs Soonyoung’s face. “I’m not going to start hating you just because you like girls. What’s wrong with liking girls? We’re far superior as it is, why do we even <i>need</i> men in this world?”</p><p>Soonyoung giggles. “I still like boys, though. I just... I just also like girls, too.” She sniffs, feeling a bit silly but mostly relieved. Wonhee doesn’t hate her. Soonyoung grins, wobbly and happy. “Thanks, Wonhee-yah.”</p><p>Wonhee’s expression softens. “I will always love you the way you are, Kwon Soonyoung.” She blushes immediately, dropping her hands. “I mean. You know.”)</p><p>Her first orgasm with a girl is in sophomore year, two weeks into the semester. Wen Junhui is gorgeous and flirty, and Soonyoung trips over herself at least twice just talking to her. They meet at a club that her sunbae had dragged her into, and Soonyoung spends the time dancing with Junhui until she drags her into a dirty grind and makes Soonyoung see stars on the dance floor. They make out in the girls’ bathroom, and Junhui gets Soonyoung sobbing on just her fingers and her mouth.</p><p>She tells Wonhee about Junhui over a lunch date, and Wonhee spends the entire time picking at her food, uninterested. Soonyoung would feel more sorry about subjecting Wonhee to her sex escapades, but Jihoon usually runs away if she starts talking and Wonhee always listens anyway.</p><p>Sometimes Soonyoung wonders if Wonhee ever gets sexually interested in anyone. The boys were terrified of her in high school, but Wonhee is beautiful. Soonyoung is more or less used to it now, but every now and then, Wonhee will laugh and the sun will fall over her face, and Soonyoung will lose her thoughts immediately. She thinks it would be a waste if Wonhee never finds someone who would appreciate her the way the she deserves to be.</p><p>She says as much to Wonhee, but Wonhee just shakes her head and tells her to forget about it; it’s not important. Soonyoung doesn’t agree. Sex is fun. Orgasms are fun. Wonhee deserves to have fun.</p><p>They get into a fight.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>key points that will never get written:</p><p>- wonhee reveals she is ace and soonyoung struggles to understand it<br/>- soonyoung is oblivious but she’s also slightly in love with wonhee; wonhee is just fully in love with soonyoung, but content to be her friend for life<br/>- junhui and soonyoung have an awkward ‘oh we’ve met before’ situation when 96z all finally meet</p></blockquote></div></div>
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